Life after cancer

You just got a cancer diagnose, what now?

Align your mind, body and soul. Gear up! Do not panic! Believe in your healing! Focus is your best defense!

When I was diagnosed in Fall 2019, I was in shock. I did not feel sick at all. In fact, at that time I was working out regularly and thought I was in great shape. I did feel a painful lump in my right breast a few weeks before but I thought I had a cyst. "70% of the lumps are benign" I was told by one of the nursing staff who scheduled me for an ultrasound, so why would I worry? That cyst just needed to be drained and I'll be fine. Little did I know that I was very sick with stage 3A HER+. A bomb fell, my life as a 52 year woman was shaken upside down. But I was in no mood for defeat.

1. I decided to up my game by keeping up my workout at the gym. That was one of the first decisions I made. I was not going to hide or let my immune system weaken. Luckily enough for me, I had a few friends who invited me on walks. At that time, I was still teaching three classes in Delta College/SVSU and decided to finish the semester. That last semester was very special. The class at Delta College could not be more diverse: I had never taught a class where the youngest was only 15 years old, a high school kid and I had a few people in their sixties. I will never forget how my students supported me that semester. My family was and still is my biggest support. My husband and oldest son motivated me to join them in spinning class. I remember vividly how I observed other people sweating and going over their comfort zone and me feeling sorry I could not go that deep. My promise to myself was to one day go back to the level I had and work my way up, which I DID. (read end of article)

2. With the diagnose came the shame and feeling of defeat that I had to tell others I had cancer. Telling my parents was one of the hardest things I had ever done. They were of course devastated. Who wants to survive their children? That was their first thought because getting a cancer diagnose is very scary. A lot of people think you are going to die, in fact for some of them you already got the death sentence. Well, for my type of cancer it WAS a death sentence 15 years ago.

What I learned very quickly going into that process was dropping the self-pitying. One cannot allow that negative energy, so throwing it away as quickly as possible is one of your best defenses. As well as not allowing people to pity you. How disintegrating this feels and takes away all of your self-respect, your pride. Teach people how you want to be treated, how you want to be addressed and if necessary which words to use. It is within your right to get the best treatment and your inner circle is a great place to start.

3. Another way to gear up is to get educated as quickly as possible. The more you know what kind of beast you are fighting against, the better your chances are to outsmart the enemy. Believe me when I say that you never may underestimate the intelligent cancer cells who love to grow, communicate, and multiply.

Get yourself the best team of doctors behind you. You trust them with your life so follow your intuition and don't feel bad if you need to let go of someone you don't trust 100%.

Ask a lot of questions and write them down before the appointment.

Here is a list of books I used to get informed. One of the first books I read was "Radical remission" from Dr. Kelly Turner. It informs us about the nine key factors that can make a real difference. I was eager to find my own reasons to keep going and quickly discovered I had a few in my pocket. I chose this one to be my life force guide and that is why I became a Reiki Master. (Factor 8: Deepening your spiritual connection).

I opened a spiritual door. I entered without fear. I live without fear. All healing is essentially a release from fear.

Another one was "Lessons from an imperfect world" by Harry Grether that was a gift from the Department of Radiology in Midland. Everyone who finished this treatment is offered this book. When I found out that the author lived in Midland, I took the opportunity to meet up with him in a café to talk about his book. He told me that the mean reason of writing this book was the death of his daughter Denise, to cancer.

4. Tap into your life force energy. If you have people who believe in God, let them pray for you. Their prayers are a big support. They are a force no one can deny. I was even sent a Bible and was asked to read in which I did. At one time, I felt a circle of fire where a whole family was praying for me protecting me from all negative things. Look for YOUR own force whether it is in God, the Universe, Spirit Guides, Angels or any belief system that is of your interest. Look for a guide within yourself and give it permission to reinforce you step by step, day by day. But don't forget to first believe in yourself, your healing. That is the only way you are going to cope with everything that is happening. I can't remember how many times I said to myself: "Also this day shall pass." Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will be fine and feel better.

5. Look for a Cancer Support Center in your neighborhood to get help with free stuff like wigs, hats, bras, headbands, treatments, invitations to meetings, or simple to get in touch with others. Feel the support, feel the power of a group.

Look for organizations such as Livestrong, or Unite for Her.

Try some things that are out of your comfort zone, try out new things like yoga, Tai Chi or Qigong.

I was introduced to try some Reiki sessions through the Cancer Support Center in Midland, MI. I had never even heard about Reiki two and a half years ago and now I am a Reiki Master. Pretty amazing journey so far and this is just the beginning.

6. Are you someone who loves to tell stories? Start journaling or join a Writing Group. My husband bought me a CANPLAN, it is a journal, kind of daily tracker where you can write everything down about appointments, treatments and testing, medication list, positivity exercises, etc... I truly enjoyed the daily motivational quotes which uplifted me tremendously.

7. Going through a cancer journey is a mental game. You mostly feel it when you are undergoing chemo treatment. When you are having a bad cold or the flu, you know that in a few days, you are going to get better and be fine. You don't question your healing process. You have faith in a good outcome. When you have cancer, the future is much more unclear, the outcome may be uncertain or the prognosis rather bad or not promising.

I needed six rounds of chemo treatment and after the third round, you feel that your body takes longer to recuperate. The good days in between treatments get shorter so you end up having more bad than good days. I often describe chemo as having aches in places I never thought were possible.

If you are ever experiencing those fears, try to focus all your energy on a good day and write out some positive affirmations. Write about how you want your life to look like. I even recorded mine and listened to them on a bad day. I knew they would give me hope and strength. I knew that they would remind me of my Authentic Self and my purpose here on earth.

Now, just about 2.5 years later, I just signed up for pickle ball last week and passed the intermediate test without practice. Because the Universe told me so... I did pass... the test. I followed my intuition.

This week, at my first day of practicing with all levels I won four games. Nobody would ever suspect what I had been through. Nobody knew that only two years ago, I lost all my hair. Nobody would ever assume that I didn't recognize that beaten and fragile woman in the mirror. Beaten down by strong cocktails so rough that she wasn't even able to brush her teeth in one time. That she was surviving as a plant for three to four days after each treatment and could only watch shows like Property Brothers etc...

I want to share this video (2018) that my Livestrong coach Steve shared with me about how pickleball can provide a life line. Howard Simpson talks about the amazing effects on his health.

This website has arrived within your Life for a specific reason. This story can be yours. You might be at the beginning of a long dark tunnel but I am telling you that there is an end to this tunnel. There is light at the end of the tunnel. A light that shines so bright and is so loving and kind. A light that will lift you up and bring you to spaces where you have never been. Spaces that others might never discover, but you will. I wish you peace within yourself, hope and harmony.

Here are some of the quotes I found inspiring and uplifting:

"Cancer is messy and scary. You throw everything at it, but don't forget to throw LOVE at it. It turns out that might be the best weapon of all." Regina Brett

"The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated." Plato

"Action is the foundational key to all success." Pablo Picasso